2. I’m not savvy enough to look at a profile, a summary of likes and dislikes, hopes, dreams and fears, and know if she’s a keeper or not. But I can figure it out easily in person in 10 minutes. That’s why I have a love/hate relationship with eHarmony. Eventually, I might meet the right person, but not without a lot of artificial constraints.

I’ve been on eHarmony for a year, still looking, still trying on matches. I’ve gone through phases where I’ll let the matches pile up, a casualty of work and travel. But now I’ve realized that it’ll take my continued attention to make this thing work.

You may find these articles to be helpful. They certainly helped me settle in with eHarmony on my second try.

eHarmony Tips For Men

eHarmony Advice For Women

Now, these guys I’m thinking of weren’t ugly to me when I first met them – they simply didn’t catch my eye. But with time that changed.

But if a guy is flat out unappealing… yeah, it’s not going to happen. That’s just the honest truth.

“If you don’t like the other person’s appearance, you just don’t — great conversation isn’t going to change that.”

Haven’t you ever begun to be attracted to someone you previously hadn’t been, BECAUSE of things they’ve said or how you’ve seen them react to something or live their life? I think that’s a huge flaw in the dating scene, and why so many people are turning to be online. One glance becomes a deal breaker. I do think looks are important to a point, but an relationship or possible one becomes deeply flawed when someone is instantly accepted or rejected by their looks alone. Not everyone has been blessed with ideal looks… should they never have the opportunity to be in a relationship because of that? Sure, dirty, smelly, unsanitary… turn offs for dang sure. But not classically beautiful, or whatever is popular in what’s considered attractive at the moment? That just kind of sucks.

FYI, I did change my picture settings to show up after the first exchange of questions. It takes very little effort to see my picture, but like Carla, I didn’t want it out there immediately for the awkward possibility of being matched with someone I know.

Thanks for the internet dating encouragement. I’m still trying to normalize it to myself by slowing expanding the circle of people who know that I’m doing this.

If you want it to your real email, I think you can change it on the site.

P.S. I’m over 100 now. I have so many messages that I can’t even begin to think about reading all the profiles. Maybe I’ll blog about this.

Second, I have like 10 matches. And I’ve closed most of them already.

And finally, do you have your eharmony mail going to your regular e-mail? Mine goes to my “junk” e-mail account… which isn’t really junk, it’s just not my REAL e-mail.

Don’t be ashamed of using Internet dating! It’s just a medium. You could meet a guy in line at the grocery store, by being set up by a mutual friend, by using the newspaper classifieds… Why is one more appropriate than another? In fact, Internet dating can be so much more beneficial by offering the ability to weed out mismatches without even having to meet them. If you would never date a guy who smokes, you can just skip all the profiles from smokers. If you’re intent upon dating someone who attends church weekly, you can narrow your search down as such. But I think the nicest benefit is simply that you know the person on the other end is also in the market for dating. I know I was always hesitant to ask a woman out if I didn’t know she was single. Sure, you can ask, but once you do so, your intentions are pretty plain — and if she’s got a boyfriend it can be very awkward. Personals though (online or otherwise) let you know that the other person is not only single, but actually interested in dating. That’s a big step in itself.