I want my money back (and don’t forget to give me back my black T-shirt) October 24, 2007

We’re nearing the end of this three month experiment, and it’s turned out to be significantly different than my expectations. As I said in the beginning, I’ve had a bit of experience with online dating. While this is the first time I’ve actually paid for a service, I’ve been on several Internet dates in the past.

 

But here we are, three months in, and I still haven’t been on an eHarmony date. I didn’t expect to meet my husband in this three month period (I scare easily and move slowly, but that’s another story). Still, I’m really surprised at how ineffective eHarmony has proven to be.

 

OK, it’s not completely their fault. I was seeing someone “in real life” for about a month, so my matches weren’t a high priority. And I know my 30 mile search radius is a factor. I even tinkered with my settings at one point and received a handful of matches in the 60 mile range. Plus, I’m just picky. Being able to select the traits I want in a man only amplifies that.

 

Or maybe I’m just not so compatible with the men in the site’s database. Who knows?

 

Over a recent lunch a friend and I discussed my unsuccessful time on the site. She registered years ago and didn’t find much use for it, she said. But now that she’s a bit older and a bit more serious about what she wants from a relationship, it’s proven to be a better fit.

 

That’s not to say I’m not serious. I’m just… young. I know I want to get married someday, but as I told a friend last week, “I might be ready for a boyfriend, maybe, if I could give someone a chance for long enough, without freaking myself out—if that’s possible.”

 

In other words, I need time. Evidently, so does eHarmony. But with it, time literally is money—and they’ve seen enough of mine.

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match September 7, 2007

As we drove to Tuscaloosa for a friend’s birthday party last night, my friend Murray and I talked about one thing almost exclusively: Boys. The ones we date, the ones we don’t, the ones we wish we were. Y’know, the usual.

 Maybe that’s life as single 20somethings, and we’ve always got stories to tell.

But a month into this eHarmony venture, I don’t have much to report. I’ve communicated with a few guys, but nothing that merits a “dear diary” moment. Instead I’ve taken to discussing the differences between my experiences and those of my friends.

I can’t keep up with the number of matches Megan has received, but last I heard it was well over 100. Another friend had been paired with about 60 guys when we last spoke. I counted today: I’ve been paired with 20 in a month, and 16 of those are already closed for one reason or another.

I’m not sure what accounts for the differences. Megan is open to meeting men from anywhere in the country; my search is limited to men within 30 miles of my home (and I think that’s too far!). Surely that counts for something, but my other friend’s geographical limitations are the same as mine. However, the city she lives in is home to about 10 times more people than my town.

I guess there could be a number of factors at work here. But the lack of matches doesn’t bother me… for reasons I’ll get into later, I actually prefer it this way right now…

There’s more to me than what you see August 12, 2007

I’ve been on eharmony for nearly two weeks now. I’ve been “matched” with several men, have closed several matches and have moved through the phases into “open communication” with two. But my favorite stories (so far) relate to my photos.

Of course pictures are the first thing I see when I receive a new match–followed quickly by age, faith and how often he drinks. I often don’t read the rest of his profile for days. I’m just not in a rush.

 However, I have my photos set such that I show them to matches when I decide I’m ready. Mostly that’s because I know I could be paired with people I actually know–or worse, that I’ve already been out with. (Think I’m crazy? It happened on day one.)

So last week I had a match–who had not even initiated contact!–close the connection because he couldn’t see my photos. That cracked me up. (And frankly, I wasn’t interested in him.)

 But it gets better. A few days ago, a guy asked to see my photos, so I let him. The next time I logged on, he had closed the match!

No wonder women are so paranoid about our appearances. Good thing I’m cuter than him, anyway. Otherwise I might be offended.

I’m diving in August 12, 2007

I’m no stranger to Internet dating. I’ve tried nearly every site at some point: a three day trial (OK, multiple three day trials) on match, a discounted week on eharmony, true when it was still free for women. But my credit card and I have never really taken the plunge. It’s been nearly a source of pride–although I don’t know why. I’ve had plenty of friends who have tried Internet dating, and I was even a bridesmaid in a wedding where the couple met on match.com.

But I’ll admit, I’ve been curious whether it would work. So when Megan told me months ago that a friend suggested she sign up for eharmony, I was on board. She should do it, I said, and to take it a step further, I would sign up for a site adn we could blog about our experiences.

On a recent Saturday, I got a text from Megan. She was ready.

Megan had an unreal discount code: three months for $45. The same length of time on match would cost $60. It’s not a huge difference, but enough to make me consider my options. I’ve preferred match in the past, but eharmony’s system isn’t really designed for a short-term commitment. I also asked a friend about her experiences using both. She’s met more Christian men on eharmony than match. When I thought about it, I realized that the best contenders I’ve met on match were also on eharmony.

So I took the plunge. Heck, I’ll do almost anything for a good story–and if there’s one thing dating has brought me, it’s good stories.